Sublime Sex: 7 Days to Creating a Sublime Sexual Relationship

Great sex comes in many shapes and forms and what may be great for someone is just mediocre for another. If your sex life seems to be losing its luster, follow these tips and you will have a better sex life than you ever thought possible.

Day One:

Evaluate your sex life and determine if it is fully meeting your needs. What is working and what is not? If you were to describe the best sexual relationship you could have with your partner, what would you say? What would be different? What would it look like and how would it make you feel? Is that what you have? What are you willing to do to improve it?

Day Two: :

Ask your partner how he feels about your sexual relationship? Does he feel fulfilled? What does he think is going well? What would he like to improve? What would he like to change? Talk about how each of you is feeling and decide on a plan to make it better and to have the best sex of your life.

Some people argue that you cannot plan for sex and that doing so is too unromantic. I can almost promise that if those people are not fulfilled in their sex life, choosing not to do anything about it will get them nowhere. If you want better sex, you have to be able to communicate what “better” looks like to you. Of course, there is a point where too much talking can paralyze you, but if you don’t talk about it enough to tell your partner what you want, the level of frustration you will feel because you are not getting your needs met will ruin any chance of having great sex.

Day Three: :

Try a new position, have sex at a different time than you usually do, and/or have sex in a different place. Get one of those books that has 365 positions and try a new one each time. Maintaining certain patterns can lead to boredom. Break your pattern and see what happens.

Day Four: :

Role-play to spice things up. This can be intimidating if you have never done it before but it can be great fun if you are both willing to give it a try. One night you can try out his role play and the next you can do yours. Give yourself permission to ask for what you want and then explore each other’s fantasies with an open mind. Have fun!

If you are in a relationship with someone you love, you should feel comfortable trying out some new things. If it is really uncomfortable for you, talk about it. Let your partner know how you feel and figure out how to get past it. Sexual relationships can be complicated and some people come into relationships with very heavy baggage and just hope they can get past it, but it is not that easy. Work on removing whatever blocks you have. Seek professional help if you need to but make it a priority.

The funny thing about sex is that if you have a great sexual relationship with your partner, its role in your relationship is about 10%. If your sex life is suffering, it matters about 90%.

Day Five: :

Have an evening when you talk about sex and talk about your fantasies but do not do anything about them...yet. Sometimes just knowing what the other really wants and then living with it for a day while they are away at work or you are on a business trip can really build up some great sexual tension. Build energy and ignite each other’s desire whenever you can. Let the other person know you want them and that they make you feel great. That alone is a turn on and may even give your partner the confidence he needs to make it even better next time.

Day Six: :

Spend today holding hands, touching each other affectionately, and staying physically connected without having sex. Remind each other how good it feels to feel the touch of someone who loves you and to feel the gentle guide of someone who is looking out for you.

Day Seven:

Have more sex. I hear from a lot of women, especially those with kids, that they no longer care about sex and they have no desire for it. If you have no desire for a sexual relationship with your partner and you are satisfied with that, it is your choice to make. However, if you want a better sexual relationship but you just don’t seem to have any sexual desire left, then there is plenty you can do. If a situation presents itself but you don’t really feel in the mood, do it anyway. Do not think about it or analyze it, just do it. There is a very good chance that as soon as you let go a bit, you will find yourself getting more and more into it. It is often the case that the more sex you have, the more sex you want to have.

Commit to making these practices a habit for at least the next 6 weeks. If you want to change, you must commit to it. Remember, you are getting exactly what you are committed to getting.